


Not of Fairy Tales

by MulderFoxes



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Fairy Tale Elements, Intersex Loki, Jötunn Loki, M/M, Manipulative Loki, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3153884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MulderFoxes/pseuds/MulderFoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A King's head in exchange for a Prince's hand in marriage." Loki suggests to save Odin's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It should have been a day much like any other. It should have been a day  _just_  like any other. Yet alas, it was anything but a day as any other.   
  
The Land has been quiet since the first rising of the first sun, and now as the last sun sets, it is quiet still. A whisper is all that is heard, a steady blur of sound carried loosely on the trail of warm winds. The whisper is of a question, a cursed question, a question which if not answered truthfully, if not answered rightly, shall bring forth the end of a man, the end of a King, but most importantly, the end of a Realm.   
  
And it is a question so simple one cannot pause and admire what beautifully crafted malice lies behind it.  
  
The Land has been quiet, and it is quiet still, for its King needs to think, need to puzzle, need to ack. Time has always been short, yet now it is even shorter. Only a few more hours till today shall be tomorrow, and until the King will have to present his answer to King Laufey.  
  
Time had never been so short.  
  
"My King is troubled." A voice touches his ears, a cold, icy voice which drips of willfulness. The voice of a savior, yet also condemner. It is the voice of a monster, a creature of blue skin and red eyes, and its name is that of Loki Laufeyson.  
  
The one whom his son is to marry.   
  
"And I see not the need." The voice continues as the monster's steps draw him nearer to the King. "Have I not given you the answer you have searched for far and wide?"  
  
"Yet I wonder if the price you have asked for it is none too great." Odin confessed, earning a laugh from the creature.   
  
"I see not how it can be too much. A King's head in exchange for a Prince's hand in marriage can hardly be seen as an un-payable price."  
  
"But what of a young one's happiness? How can I deny one that?"  
  
The first answer he had received was laughter, and it is such a wicked laugh. The second one, was mockery: "Oh, you worry too much my King. I am certain your son shall make me happy." And with that, Loki Laufeyson left as quickly as he came, leaving Odin once again alone save for his thoughts.   
  
As the rapidly setting sun set the high mountains on fire and allowed the evening sky to wear its dark cloak lesser beings had named Night, Odin All-Father's one still lively eye gazed upon the wonders of Life, yet his mind was wrapped solely upon the notion of Death.  
  
Odin All-Father had made a mistake. That day when he left to hunt deep within the icy realms of Jötunheimr he had made a mistake. The day he was caught he had made a mistake. The day he had accepted his captor's terms he had made a mistake.  
  
The King of Asgard has made a mistake.   
  
He only hopped beyond all hope that he would not make another come dawn. Tomorrow, it is a question he must answer: if answered wrongly, the price he must pay if that of his life; if answered truthfully, the price is that of his son's happiness.  
  
Tomorrow comes and Odin's answer is truthful.


	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor isn't thrilled at the prospect of marrying a Jötunn.

It is a beautiful day, his wedding day, and Thor is certain it is so just to spite him.   
  
Everything had been perfect, all to the smallest detail. The bonding ceremony has been one of the loveliest Asgard has ever seen, or so his mother had said, the feast from after held such delicious food that the guests all thought they died and went to Valhalla, or so Volstagg has said, yet Thor could find himself unable to enjoy it. Everything was much too new for him and much, much too surreal. He was by no means prepared for this.  
  
Oh, it would be a lie to say that he never thought about this day in the past, that he didn't pause to imagine what kind of maiden he would have for a bride, but never had he been able to imagine something quite like this.   
  
He never imagined he would live the day he was forced to wed a Jötunn runt.  
  
He sampled some wine, fighting a very strong urge to gobble it down. But he supposed it was advisable for the future King to hold a least a mediocre amount of dignity at his wedding, even if all he wanted was to get drunk until he passed out. Apparently, he and subtlety were hardly on good terms on that day, for his Mother sent him a disapproving glance.  
  
He was certain he heard chuckling coming from his bride.  
  
Hiding his frustration as best as he could, he let his eyes trail to his right, where his bride was apparently snipping the wine perfectly proper, and just allowed himself to look.  
  
Skin as blue as winter's sky, eyes as red as the flowing blood of fallen warriors and hair the shade of raven feathers. And then there was that smile: as wide and cunning as that of a most fearsome viper. To the áss eye, it was not a pleasant image. To the eyes of Thor, even less so.   
  
But a promise is a promise, and by the Norns, he would atone to that promise till the bitter end.  
  
"You hardly touched your food, husband." The devil speaks, and it's all Thor can do not to wince as an icy hand seeks his shoulder. "I do hope you are not feeling poorly. It would hardly be acceptable for the groom to take ill on his wedding day."  
  
He was not that lucky.  
  
"I am fine, my wife." He said and oh how it pained him to say that. "I am merely overwhelmed." Indeed he was and he probably would be for a while longer.   
  
Those bloodless lips curl into a smile, yet much to his surprise, it is not the viper-like grin Thor has become accustomed to. This smile was something else, yet his wife did not allow him to place a name to it, for a moment later, he rose to his feet, asking him to dance. Thor complied, if only for a little change of scenery.  
  
But quite frankly, he only wanted to get drunk.  
  
"Are you certain you are well, husband?" His bride asked again as the music changed to a slower dance, one meant for only two. "You are awfully quiet."  
  
How could he not? He was husband to a Jötunn. A Jötunn whom shall be by his side now till the end of his days. And by the Norns, he was truly feeling ill now - a Jötunn with which he shall share his bed with.   
  
As the dance continued, Thor caught his Father's eye, lone and aged as it has always been, yet far older now or at least so it seemed. He reminded himself that this was for his Father, that by all accords, he should be grateful to this demon in his hands, this Jötunn runt whom defied his kin to save Thor's own. But he could not.  
  
All of his life he had believed the people of Jötunheimr to be the enemy, the devil whom one must slay before they did you. He couldn't let go of a lifetime of hate for such a people because of one lone act of benevolence.

 

"You know, frowning is unbecoming of you, husband." The devil speaks, the same odd smile on those lips, and Thor surpasses the urge to act on impulse.   
  
"I intend for my features to be what they chose to." He says when the music draws the pair closer together. Much to his surprise, the Jötunn laughs and for a moment, the world stands still.  
  
"Oh, you are no fun, husband dear." The Jötunn said when they came closer again, breaking the spell. "And quite a horrible liar. You think I do not know you find my presence repulsing and most probably your honor is all which keeps you from killing me for the monster that I am." Such naked truth coming from those lips is something Thor did not expect. " But answer me this, husband dear: has it never occurred to you that maybe to my eyes you are just a great a monster as I am to you?"  
  
No. In all honestly, it did not, and the answer must have been clearly written on his face, for his bride threw his head back and laughed that strange laugh once more.  
  
He had never before heard such a sound before.  
  
It was a soft laugh, one of mirth and devoid of the malice the voice of this monster usually held. It was a honest laugh, Thor realized, and much to his further astonishment, he found his eyes searching the shape of his wife once more.  
  
Cold blue fingers touched his own, but beneath the ice, beneath the harness of the skin, he felt a delicacy he found only his Mother seemed to hold. The Jötunn danced, and Thor saw how each step he took resembled the quiet falling of early snow, silent and graceful in its fall.   
  
The skin this creature wore was different from their own, but Thor may have come to realize, as he danced which this creature which by all means should be his enemy, that maybe underneath they were not all that different to begin with.  
  
It left Thor puzzled.  
  
"Then why ask of my hand in marriage if you find me so repulsive?" Thor asked, truly asked, for the first time since Loki flew into the house of Odin, a light snowflake brought upon by the last cold wind of winter into the very heart of summer. "You could have had anything. We would have given you one of our very moons if you would have asked."  
  
That wintery laugh again before the answer. "What use would I have for your moon?"  
  
"What use would you have for a husband?" For indeed, he could not understand. His bride on the other hand, watched him with eyes which seem to speak the words "is it not obvious?"  
  
"Am I wrong in wishing for what every living creature is entitled to?"   
  
"You could have asked for any of our maidens."  
  
"Ah, but here you see my husband, I did not ask for any of your maidens." There was that devilish glow back in those eyes of his, but for once Thor saw a little more than just that. But again, what he saw he could not name, for the music faded away, making both wife and husband realize the time had come for them to leave the feast as per tradition.   
  
"I believe this is our sign, husband dear." His wife, Loki had said, and he felt those icy fingers on his own. Barely a tough, it was, but it was all Thor needed to take the lead and guide his wife towards his - their rooms.  
  
He gulped audibly.  
  
"Worry not, husband dear. I am not a great of a monster to ask this much of you." Loki said then, and Thor found himself once again quite genially surprised. “Provided you not ask the same, that is. Yet judging by the looks your comrades are giving me I do believe that is not the case."  
  
It took a dance which seemed to take forever, but just maybe, he managed to not only look, but to see this creature he had bound himself to. And what an interesting creature was the one named Loki Laufeyson.

 

 

Weeks seem to pass yet Thor's life remained surprisingly unaltered despite Loki's now constantly annoying presence by his side. He would attend feasts, he would hunt and mingle with his friends. Every day he would train as always, and his new wife would follow and watch him battle, red eyes fallowing his every move, all the while holding a knowing smile firmly held proudly by those thin lips.  
  
"I see you're slowly progressing, husband." Had said to them one day after his training session, tone mocking, eyes laughing. Thor knew by now that Loki would often speak his mind, but at times he could not stand the creature.   
  
"I will have you know, dear wife, that I am one of the greatest warriors of Asgard."  
  
There was a pause in which Loki looked at him from head to toe, red eyes searching, red eyes judging. "Greatest, certainly. Skilled? Why, I wonder..."  
  
The next day, Sif was cross with him, almost worse than even the Warriors Three. He had put too much force into his blows, too much passion, and as a result, the training grounds now remained unsavable.   
  
Thor blamed Loki. Loki in turn reminds him that the damage was done by his own hand.   
  
Curse that viper.   
  
That night, Loki wisely keeps his distance as the thunderer seeks out mead, yet Thor can still see that mocking smile upon the Jötunn's face. Goblet after goblet does not help cool this burning rage he now holds for his wife. Thor Odinson still wishes to do nothing save take Mjölnir and blast that wretched creature for all its worth.  
  
He does not give into his urges however, despite how great they are. But he promises himself this: that Jötunn runt shall not make a fool out of him.  
  
The next day, on the newly rebuild training grounds, Sif praises him, as do the Warriors Three. "Better" she had said, and such praise coming from Sif is enough reason for celebration. Loki did not attend to this particular feast however, and Thor did not know why he felt disappointed by this fact. Any moment not spent in the presence of Loki's silver tongue was a blessing in itself.   
  
He couldn't understand.  
  
"Is something troubling you, my Prince?" Fandral asked as he dropped his goblet, now devoid of the mead it had contained. "Why, I hope there are no dark clouds hovering over your marriage already."  
  
Thor's booming laughter seemed to shock the very room. "Friend Fandral, you never seem to tire of your words."  
  
Fandral joined him in his laughter. "Oh, come, my Prince, my poor words are hardly on par with those of another we all know of." He winked at him then, leaving Thor contemplating on who this familiar acquaintance could be.  
  
Oh.

  
"My wife's words, though skilled, are hardly the words I would compliment." His words are cautious for he knows the delicacy of the situation, yet truthful for he knows to be among friends.   
  
A heavy sigh from Fandral at that, and a nod of agreement comes from Hogun. Volstagg on the other hand, seems to be contemplating on a whole other line of reason.  
  
"My Prince" The largest of the Tree begins "I have wished to ask for a long time, yet I have never got the chance. Your marriage to the Jötunn has been quite unexpected. I know it is to be a political marriage of sorts, for you have told us your father had commanded it, but why now? Why so sudden?"  
  
"Why this Jötunn, you mean to ask." Fandral interjects. "Indeed, Thor, we would all like to know why you were made to wed this monster. By the Norns, I needed a long time to remember that I am not supposed to rise my blade to him."  
  
His friends inquire of normal matters, yet matters he will not share with them. It has been decided from the very beginning that the people of Asgard cannot know how incredibly close the King had come to embracing death, nor how this one Jötunn, child of his Father's would-have-been executioner had come to them, bearing the very key to his survival and Thor's damnation.   
  
As such, to his friends he answers with lies, but lies which are meant to be truths by any other æsir.

In an end, the feast draws to a close, and Thor, now properly drunk, leaves his unsteady feet take him to his bedchambers, where oh wonder of wonders! - he finds the very Jötunn they had talked about sitting by the window, moonlight and candlelight alike serving him well as red eyes scan an old tome.  
  
"I see you finally had enough to drink, husband." The Jötunn says, not looking up from the words in his hands.   
  
Said husband brushes the comment away, more preoccupied with taking off his armor at the moment.   
  
"So - what was the occasion this time? One of your dear comrades shot down a boar?"  
  
Thor, patience thinner than usual thank to the mead, finds himself snapping with a "If you must know, I bested Sif in match today."  
  
Red eyes rise from the old tome, shining with a look of mock-wonderment at the áss. "And this is cause for such a barbaric attempt at celebration?"   
  
Thor frowns. "It is nothing barbaric about it." Loki chuckles, setting the tome aside and rising to his feet.   
  
"Oh, if you say so, husband dearest. If you say so..." As enigmatic as ever, that blasted viper. "Which reminds me, have you had any interesting discussions today?"   
  
It was an odd question coming from Loki. "You would have known had you been there." Loki keeps on smiling. "And as a matter of fact, where have you been all day?"  
  
Eyebrows rose. "Oh? Am I to understand that you missed me?"  
  
"Hardly. But it is uncommon for you to miss my practice sessions."  
  
"Oh, I was unaware I was supposed to be at one's house and call at all hours of the day." Viper. "And why should I be interested in how you and your friends partake in never-ending alpha-male contests?"  
  
Momentarily, Thor was stunned. "You've come to them until now. In fact, you were the one who criticized my fighting skill just a few days ago!"  
  
"Oh my, did I ever say such things."  
  
"Yes, you did!"  
  
"Oh now, husband dear, do mind your temper. Wouldn't want the people to think their future King is a barbarian, now would we?"

 

It was probably the mead, or it could have been that he simply could not take in another of those poisonous words, for Thor's patience finally left him, his rage now taking full possession of his body and mind.  
  
Thor sees red, but a red which seems to shift to green a moment later.  
  
The thunderer blinks once, then twice, and the green goes away, once again replaced with Jötunn red. To his horror, he finds that somehow his fingers had tighten around a neck, a body held captive beneath him on the cool marble floor. He feels the beating of a hearth which is not his own ramming against his ribs, rhythm fast, much too fast. He now looks in eyes so wide, so scared and his hands tremble, their hold loosening on that neck, allowing air to flow back into the other's lungs once again.   
  
A long moment, Thor can do nothing save look into those eyes and how slowly, but oh so steady, the fear begins to vanish, though the heart has not ceased its rapid rhythm. Still, the more he looks, the more he can see how this figure lying helplessly beneath him is, after all this, the perfect image of tranquility.   
  
Pale lips curl back into a smile and Thor cannot understand how they can still produce such laughter.   
  
"As I said: barbaric."  
  
He jumps off the other as if burnt. What has he done?   
  
 _What has he done?!_  
  
"I- I am sorry." He tries to say, try to explain himself. Oh, but what could he explain? He almost strangled his wife, his father's savior, to death!   
  
The other is not backing away from him. He has not even gotten up yet. Instead, he simply watches how Thor is trying with all his might to apologize, smile never faltering. In an end, he takes pity on his husband and rises, almost painfully slowly, back to his feet. Still, instead of running from the room, much like Thor expects him, Loki takes steps towards his husband.  
  
"Oh, my husband, though appreciated, your apologies are not needed. I am an infuriating bastard and I know it well. Quite frankly, I am surprised you did not bring down your fury upon me sooner."   
  
Thor was speechless.   
  
"Know this husband dear: I am Loki and only Loki. I cannot change who I am, though I know such things anger those around me. I shall not change who I am, though I know that maybe I should. I am a heartless monster and a liar and your wife and I will anger you again." He is now right in front of him, mere inches apart, and Thor sees how those eyes watch him like a scholar does his research. And then, he leans in close, so close Thor can feel the coldness of his skin, and he whispers. "You shall hate me, husband dear, because you see, I am not your princess and life is not made out of fairytales."  
  
He draws back a moment later, and Loki is still smiling, both with his lips and with his eyes and for just a moment, Thor swears he can see a trail of green in those scarlet eyes.   
  
Loki Laufeyson, just what are you?

  
  
Days passed since the incidence in their chamber, then weeks, and months and Loki was true to his words. There has been many angry exchanges between husband and wife, many quarrels, great deals of mischief on the wife's part and a great many broken objects on the husband's. What one gave, the other repaid in full, and Thor learned to be most cautious of his wife when such cases arise for Loki had no qualms to turn him into a chicken and leave him so for days on end.   
  
His Mother expressed her worries over this type of life, but she had chose her moment most unwisely for Thor was doing all within his might not to bring forth all the power of Mjölnir upon his wife. Of all things _he refused to be seen with a cabbage for hair!_  
  
Still, almost an year after the marriage and to everyone's great relief the Realm was still standing. But its people seemed to be growing wrestles, Thor noted one day, and the next Loki disappeared again, as was his habit, and did not returned till a fortnight after. It was another week at least until he began speaking to Thor once more.   
  
He did not notice that the people's spirits had grown calm again right after.   
  
Still, what he did notice was that Loki, every time after he would return from his trips (he had long given up trying to ask where he was going), would stick closer to him than his very shadow. Short-lived moments were these though, for merely days later he would be back to his tricks and eventually the process will come full-circle all over again.  
  
This was Loki, and to Thor's upmost shock, he finds that he likes him so.   
  
Loki was a mystery, Thor was forced to admit. His words are quick and cutting, his body straight and almost terrifying and eyes a constant silent witness of one's every mistake yet on select few moments, Thor sees more. There are moments, little moments he had noticed over the months, which make him realize he does not know Loki at all. When they touch, when they dance, when they spar, when they are alone in their chamber or when darkness falls and he finds Loki asleep on their bed, Thor sees how not everything is as it is left to be.   
  
He finds himself gazing at a Loki he is not certain he quite knows, one which speaks no lies, one who seeks no mischief, one without the silver tongue and an oddly placed shade of green in those normally red eyes. When confronted about that last one, he would blame it on a trick of the light.  
  
He has grown accustomed of the little Trickster's presence, and found it hard to know him gone. In all these months, he has grown fond of his wife, with all his faults and all his qualities. If only said Trickster would stop hating him, things would probably be a lot less complicated.  
  
But things will forever be complicated. And Thor will come to realize that Loki lies and he lies about almost anything.  
  
But not of everything.

 

One night in particular, he was most shocked to be awaken from his slumber by silent sobs coming from the man on the other side of the bed they must share. Loki was crying, and Thor could not help but stare at the shaking form on the bed which now looks so small and helpless, a still living contradiction to the usually proud and strong-spirited man whom he assumed he knew.   
  
Slowly, he brought a hand to lie upon the other's shoulder, only to earn a startled jerk for his troubles.   
  
" Jötunn?" He calls to him, hand once again resuming its place on the other's shoulder. "Wife, wake up." He calls again, harsher than was probably intended, and the shaking of that frame grows worse, now accompanied by pleading whispers for it all to stop.   
  
"Please- no more, no more. Stop, please... just stop..." That voice, always mocking, always strong, sounds so broken that for a moment Thor doesn't recognize it. He begins to worry, such a feeling for the Jötunn runt so very foreign to him that he does not know what to do.   
  
Awkwardly, he pulls the shivering frame close to his own, ignoring how cold the other feels close to his skin. He calls to him again, demanding, asking, pleading for the other to awaken from the horrid dreams plague him.   
  
"Wake up. Please wake up, Loki."  
  
It has been the first time he had used the other's name.  
  
Still, slowly, steady, the shivering grows to a stop, leaving the other to mumble a few last stray words Thor could not make out. He was finally calm again and Thor breathed a sigh of half-relief. But the mumbled were still there, and they showed no sign of stopping. His hand takes to stroking those raven locks on its own accord.   
  
"You must think me pathetic."  
  
Thor hand's freezes.   
  
"Seeing me like this." Loki's voice says. "You must find me so utterly pathetic. And after all my hard work..." A blue hand comes up to cover his face. "All that hard work and you still..."  
  
Thor did not let him finish. "Loki, what has happened?"   
  
A broken laugh is his one response before an equally broken voice continues to speak. "You were supposed to make things easier." Loki's speaking strange words afterwards, words he cannot understand, and Thor thinks he isn't talking to him at all. But then something happens, and Thor cannot think at all.  
  
Loki's skin feels warm underneath the fabric of his nightclothes and to the eye it is taking on a shade of pink so common among his people that Thor cannot believe his eyes. Apparently sensing this, Loki turns to face him, and Thor is rendered speechless by that pair of eyes, as green as the summer grass with stray tears sparkling at the corners.   
  
The monster is gone and all Thor sees is the most beautiful creature he has ever cast eyes upon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would love t know what you guys think of this!


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Thor finds out a few more things about Loki...

"Do you like what you see, husband dear?"  
  
Does he? He does. It is written oh so plainly on his face. Oh, may the Norns forgive him but he does. How could he not? Pale pink skin instead of blue, much softer underneath his fingers than the purest flower petal and those eyes... Oh, sweet Norns, those eyes! A green so lively the very summer grass would feel envy!   
  
Those now perfect lips curl into a smile, a smile Thor knew much too well, and that was when the pieces finally came together. His scalp tingled with shock, and he jumped back with such force he ended up sprawled on the floor.   
  
"What sorcery is this?!"  
  
Loki laughed that rare laugh of his, brushing the stray tears from his still green eyes. He shifted on the bed till he laid on his stomach, head cradled in his palms and eyes set upon Thor's currently less than dignified form from down below.   
  
"The people of Midgard have a legend, my sweet husband, which speaks of a clever woman who was cursed to wear the aspect of a deformed hag until such a time that the finest knight in the land would willingly chose her as his bride." Thor listened closely as his spouse spoke of an unfamiliar tale, though he still couldn't see how this related to the situation- What? "The most interesting part of the tale, however, is the fact that after she wed this knight, her husband had the choice of having her as a beautiful woman in their chamber by night and a hag in the eyes of all by day, or the other way around." A giggle came from Loki, short lived as it was, before he continued. "Though I for one know of no curses aimed at me, I wonder now, dear husband, were you the knight, what choice would you make."  
  
Thor opened his mouth and closed it before opening it again and just staring at his wife. This was- this had to be a trick. Loki was known for his tricks, and somehow Thor knew this to be a trick.   
  
"What are you?"  
  
The question came out before he even thought it.  
  
"I was under the impression that I have already told you. I am Loki. Wherever my skin is blue or pink, I doubt it matters. The skins I wear are nothing more to me than clothes."  
  
A shapeshifter... Thor was married to a  _shapeshifter_!  
  
"Why did you not tell me!" Thor bellowed in what it felt like rage, and Loki, curse that snake, looked so genially confused it almost broke every one of Thor's restraints then and there. "How many more faces have you hidden from me? How many more secrets have you? How many lies?" The trickster's eyes narrowed dangerously but Thor paid them no mind. "You ask of my hand in marriage, which I so willingly gave, yet after all of this you still..."He ran a hand through his hair, words coming in hard. "You seem to willingly be doing everything to have me hate you and I simply do not understand. Why marry me if you so despise me? Or maybe you just enjoy toying with my mind so greatly you just can't... can't..."  
  
He sighted, no longer knowing what he could say. The Thunder God has never been great with words, not like his Father... nor like this creature here, who know watched him with no longer frowning eyes, but ones which some point during his rant has taken on a look of curiosity.   
  
Slowly, steadily, Loki rose from the bed and walked a few short feet to where Thor had fallen, crouching down to watch him in the eye.   
  
Thor felt a bit too exposed for his own liking.  
  
But then, Loki smiled that smile he had saw but once before, at their wedding, so many months ago.   
  
"You were supposed to make this easy, husband." Loki said, and Thor's mind literally felt like stopping when warm fingers patted his head. "But you're married to me. I guess that speaks for itself just how simple things can ever be."  
  
Will there ever come a time when his wife's words would stop confusing him?

 

Loki released a sight as he helped Thor to his feet. "You ask me why I married you when all my actions seem to speak of hate. Indeed, why would I desire to be your wife? We are of people born to despise each other. Also, clearly I didn't wed you for the title of Queen Mother of Asgard, though by no means because producing an offspring would ever be a problem. Politics are much too boring for my taste."   
  
Thank the Norns for that... Wait, just what did he say about an offspring?!   
  
"But you are the Mighty Thor, future King and all that's wonderful and I a Jötunn runt and betrayer of his kin. All things considered, I believe assassination attempts on the future King's spouse are usually activities the Nine Realms usually frown upon."   
  
True.

  
"So logically speaking, being by your side means the best protection one as helpless as I can ever hope for."  
  
Knowing that the person from whom this was all coming from proved to be just as helpless as a bloody sea dragon was probably the reason Thor found himself doubting the other's words. Still, looking in those eyes, Thor has yet to spot a lie.   
  
"But why not tell me that you were a shapeshifter? That you can turn into an asgardian at will? Why walk among a people whom feel nothing but repulsion for your kind wearing the skin or their enemy when you could blend in by just wishing it?"  
  
"Why care at all what people think of me? I've never done so in the past."  
  
"And what about me?"  
  
That devious glow was back. "Oh? What about you?"  
  
"Were you ever planning on telling me?"  
  
"I don't know. It is rather personal..."  
  
"We are married! Usually, married people tell each other about these things."  
  
"Would you tell me about all the maidens you have taken into your bed in the past."  
  
"It is so not the same thing!"  
  
"Oh, to me it is."  
  
"Then why did you turn just now?"  
  
"That is entirely your fault. You came much too close. Had I remained of Jötunn skin you would have been frostbitten."  
  
Thor was, unsurprisingly, confused once more. "But I touched you countless times before."  
  
"Only small parts of me, husband dear. You see, t'is not hard to change only a hand or an... well, a neck, if you will, when you know that is all another will touch."  
  
 _Sneaky little viper!_  
  


Loki laughed again at the look on his husband's face and leaned in to place a short kiss on the corner of his mouth.   
  
Thor believed a dream claimed him, for there was no way in all the Nine Realms that a gesture so short, so quick, so careless could ever make him feel so warm. It felt like the first ray of the spring sun brushed his skin after a long and cold winter... and it felt  _wonderful_.  
  
He was so distracted he failed to see his wife begin to dress himself- dress to travel.  
  
"Where are you going?" Thor asked. Loki shrugged.   
  
"Dearest me... Why, husband, you have never been this inquisitive of my habits before." But in all truth, he was never given the chance. For all its worth, this had been the first time the two talked so much without resuming to profanities since the beginning of their marriage, probably.   
  
Thor still waited for an answer.  
  
"Here and there." And Thor learned that this was code for leaving Norns know where for days on end with no indication of any specific purpose.   
  
"You do that often." Thor pointed out. "Any hint of where you'll be going or of when you'll be back?"  
  
"Should I give?"  
  
"It be preferable."  
  
"If that be the case, then no."  
  
"Loki!" And the shapeshifter laughed and laughed so hard tears sprang to his eyes. "May the Norns help me, but one day I will not stand for this anymore! And if that will mean fallowing you into a snake's hole to find out then mark my words I will do it."  
  
Most unexpectedly, Loki stopped laughing most suddenly, eyes darting to look over Thor's body before setting to look his spouse straight in the eyes. Those clever seas of green seemed to be considering an idea and a quick nod of approval sealed it.   
  
"Well, that can certainly be arranged."  
  
Next Thor knew, Loki had him wearing some rather interesting garments and dragged towards Heimdall. 

 

-  
  


The icy paths of Jötunheimr are a thing of legends. Long and filled with perils at every twist and turn, they form a labyrinth few know how to walk and live to tell the tale. But at the same time, if one is to let himself just look, one can see them hold an indescribable beauty despite the danger that they represent.   
  
Silver snow and glassy ice shine as fallen stars as the one lone sun of Jötunheimr would have its rays pierce the thick mass of clouds surrounding the Realm. Icy winds continue to shape the land according to its whim, occasionally playing fondly with the locks of Loki's raven hair, much to the little giant's amusement.   
  
And Thor wonders idly just why his wife considered it wise to bring them here.   
  
"What are we doing on Jötunheimr?"  
  
A simple question, but Thor knew Loki would not give a simple answer. Or any answer at all.  
  
"You wanted to see what I was doing on my little walks." Long-term excursions, more likely but at least he's talking. "So now you will see. In addition, I figured it was about time you were introduced."  
  
He does not bother to ask. In all honesty, Thor would not be surprised if Loki was planning on introducing him to a hoard of illegitimate baby dragons. A good thing he had enough mind to bring Mjölnir. If there is one thing Thor learned as Loki's husband is that one must be prepared for everything and anything.  
  
As well as not expect any sense to come out of anything he would do, but that is besides the point.  
  
"We're almost there!" Loki calls out, picking up his pace, and Thor needs to struggle to keep up without slipping on the ice. Question after question fill the thunderer's mind, each more desperate than the last, but he does not voice them. At least not until they reach what Thor can only guess is a village and their obviously mountain tall, cold as ice and hard as rock locals.   
  
And they are looking at him.  
  
Thor prepares Mjölnir, ready to strike as soon as the first monster comes to attack. By contrast, Loki is waving at the locals - traitor! - and calls a good morning to all. Some wave back timidly and Thor is this close to strangling Loki _again_ when a small blue shape breaks the lines of stunned villagers, running towards them at full speed.   
  
The Thunder God lifts his mighty hammer, but with a steady hand, Loki signals him to lower it back. Thor does not know what he was going to do at such a mad request from his wife, but whatever that was it was washed away from his mind as the small blue shape jumped on Loki, hugging him like his very life depended upon it.   
  
"Brother Loki! Brother Loki!" The child - for indeed, Thor noticed it to be a child, even if he was almost taller than Loki himself - cried in delight as Loki patted the little one's back with genuine affection. "You came back! And all in one piece! But have you gotten shorter?"  
  
Loki laughed, and Thor knew it to be that special laugh - that honest laugh, which Loki had so rarely laughed.  
  
"I think not, little brother. But it is you who has grown." They broke the embrace then, and looked each other in the eyes. The child raised his hands a moment later, palms facing Loki, and the trickster mimicked the action, palms touching those of the other's.   
  
Odd.

 

"But I still have five!" The child called proudly, and Loki nodded just to turn to Thor a moment later.  
  
"Husband dear, meet Býleistr, currently the youngest Laufeyson of the Nine Realms." Thor inclined his head to the Jötunn child, feeling so very out of place doing so, with all those red eyes following him. "And Býleistr," Loki continued, "this here is your new brother I've told you about. Remember?"   
  
The one named Býleistr nodded looked ready to jump Thor much like he did Loki, only to apparently change his mind and just wave at the blond god, showing him his perfectly white teeth.   
  
"Hello!" The little one called. "I hope Brother Loki's not driving you insane."  
  
"Býleistr!"  
  
Oh, Thor could not  _not_  laugh at this exchange between this disarmingly honest child and his mock-horror-stricken wife.   
  
"I assure you, young Býleistr, that despite your Brother's best efforts do so, I still stand firm where my faculties are concerned."   
  
Since his marriage to Loki, the feeling of surprise has been no stranger to him. In fact, it had become the default feeling for most everything in his life in the last month. Still, he never believed he would end up surprising himself, for indeed, he so did. He surprised himself on how easily he responded to the child's words, like he had been any other son of Asgard.   
  
He caught Loki's eye, yet his wife gave nothing away.   
  
Completely oblivious to the tension that began to set, Býleistr all but knocked Loki off his feet as he took his older brother in another hug, asking of how life was fearing him or if Sire was still mad with him. The line of questions never subdued, and Thor found himself amused as Loki's younger brother started asking him questions as well. Most he answered, several left him confused, but all the while Býleistr appeared much too pleased for words.   
  
When questions seemed to finally end in their coming, the child took both Thor and Loki for a tour of the village.  
  
"Oh, Brother Loki! You just have to see what Helblindi did to Baba's hut! It's all so shiny! Come, come, you will love it!"  
  
Thor remained smiling as the child kept on talking, apparently quite starved for a conversation. As Loki obliged the little one's needs, Thor kept his eyes on the villagers more and more as time went by.   
  
He noticed the looks they gave him, the ones of weariness and suspicion. All for good reason, Thor believed, for he knew the reputation he had among the people of Jötunheimr, and he had the battle wounds to prove it to be well-earned. Before his marriage to Loki, he had killed many monsters of this world, had gained a name as Monster Slayer among his people and as a Red Demon among these cold ones.   
  
None of these locals acted like the ones he had vanquished, however.   
  
They were weary, yes. They were on edge, most certainly. But they seemed to act more like friends did with Loki whenever he would join his husband. Thor could not help not see how his friend would give the little Jötunn hostile looks when they though his wife would fail to notice. But Loki did, Thor knew very well. Loki knew every look the æsir would give him, be it one of hate or of suspicioun or even the rare ones of wonderment.   
  
It was such a look these people gave him.

 

"Husband, you are distracted." Loki's clear voice brought his thoughts away from the eyes which watched him, and Thor noticed at last that Býleistr was not with them. Seemingly reading his mind, Loki continued with "Býleistr ran off to fetch something. He asked for us to wait here, since he did not wish for us to travel back to the other end of the village and pit you through all that once again."  
  
One of Thor's golden eyebrows rose towards his hairline. "You saw?"  
  
"It is most hard not to. You know no subtlety, husband." Loki reprimanded and Thor's cheeks grew hot. He told himself it was because of the cold. "You can be rest assured, my dear, that nobody in this village will do you harm. They know you to be of our family and though they probably don't like it, they won't seek to strike one of their own."  
  
That sounded like a foolish thing to say when referring to a pack of monsters but then, Loki himself was of the same blood as everyone here. Shorter and infinitely more devious, but underneath it all, he was just like these people. He was one of these monsters yet he was no monster.  
  
Loki was a son of Jötunheimr, and so were these people.   
  
"Býleistr might take a while. Do you want to do anything in the meanwhile? I could use polishing my magic. Do you prefer chicken or turkey?"  
  
Trust Loki to ruin a philosophical insight with his random nonsense. "Neither, Loki. "  
  
"You're boring, husband." Loki actually pouted, acting much like a child as he set on a dip of snow a little to the side. Thor joined him, all under the gaze of all those red eyes which fallowed his every move.  
  
The silence was awkward.  
  
"Say, Loki" Thor began, searching his mind for something - anything! - to make this easier. "Why did you bring me here?"  
  
A sight "You wanted to see where I was going and I believed that just maybe you were entitled to finally meet one of your brother-in-laws."  
  
"One?"  
  
"Oh, yes. I have another brother. His name is Helblindi, but he doesn't live in this village. He visits Býleistr from time to time, but lately King Laufey is keeping him on a rather tight leash, as Midgardians would tend to say."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
Loki faked a look of deep concentration. "Probably my fault. When I betrayed Laufey and saved Odin's life, I might have got myself in a bit of trouble. As a result my father wants me dead and half the land is after my head."  
  
Ah, right, he almost forgot about that one. Right, Loki!

 

"Oh, don't worry. The people of this village owe me too much to kill me. Not to mention Býleistr might kill them all if they dared."  
  
Huh? "Býleistr?"  
  
And there was that devilish Loki smirk back again. "He owns this village after all." Was his one response, but the more Thor puzzled, the more he saw how hard it was not to see it.  
  
"Býleistr does seem quite fond of you." He noted, to which Loki only nodded. "He was practically irradiating with happiness when you appeared."  
  
"Well, seeing as I practically raised him it is to be expected. Still, I think he seems me more like a playmate rather than anything else." He paused. "You see, unlike your people, my people give birth to children very rarely, so growing up is often a very lonely part of life for us. Býleistr, however, was blessed with an older brother whom no taller than a three-year-old. He was the first of us in generations to ever have someone 'his own age' growing up."   
  
Thor understood. Being a lonely child as well, Thor understood. And he understood something else.  
  
"And to think that our first civilized conversation since our wedding day had to happen because you were having a nightmare." Thor's words had been meant to be taken lightly, but he did not fail to notice that the smile Loki wore was a sad one.   
  
Thor was about to comment on that when Býleistr all but crashed into Loki's back, the force sending both brother tumbling down in the snow. Thor liked this child.   
  
"Býleistr! Show some restrain!" It might have been intended to be a scold, but Loki's tone sounded more playful than anything. The child laughed at his elder's words, and for this he was rewarded to a ball of snow right in the face.  
  
What followed, one can only guess. Thor only wondered how he ended up joining them in the play as well. Oh right, he wanted revenge for that not so stray ball Loki shot at him when he couldn't stop laughing.   
  
Thor did saw how all around them just shake their heads at their child-like behavior. Nobody saw fit to bother the three all day.  
  
These people, Thor concluded, were just people. They raised their young and saw to their trade, each with their own role to play in society. They were like any other man and woman of Asgard, like any other person from any other realm. They played, they laughed, they scolded and they remained baffled by silly antics just as much as any æsir.   
  
Still, a mystery remained, one which needed to be solved. That mystery was Loki - forever a contradiction, forever a mystery but Thor would find out what lies beneath all those smiles. Thor will learn why this man married him, and why Thor himself stopped regretting the day he said yes.

 

 

Thor must be honest: if Býleistr was by all means one of the sweetest children he had ever seen in his life, albeit a little big and his hugs left him nursing some rather nasty frostbites, Helblindi was one individual he would rather not come in close proximity with ever again.  
  
It was about a week after Loki first brought him to his little brother's village that he first met Loki's other brother. Thor was practicing his sparring with Lady Sif that evening when one of the palace guards announced that a visitor has requested an audience with him.  
  
Sif was by far the most disappointed of the two. Thor only hoped the Warriors Three were smart enough to run for the highest hills.   
  
Had Thor known beforehand who the visitor was, he would have joined them.  
  
The visitor turned out to be an incredibly tall man, dressed in emerald robes and staff in hand. His skin was blue as the winter sky and eyes the red of the setting sun. A Jötunn, clearly - one which was looking out a window towards a section of the Queen's gardens. Or so Thor thought, for no sooner had the Thunder God entered that this visitor turned to him, but his eyes did not see him.   
  
A blind man but why did Thor feel like he was looking to fight him?  
  
"Prince Thor of Asgard." The guard announced Thor's arrival, both guest and Queen pause their conversation. The figure bowed a graceful bow to him, which Thor attempted to mimic, though as Loki would have pointed out, he lacked the grace for it to be even remotely perfect.  
  
This stranger's eyes did not seem to see him, it was clear to see if one truly looked, but Thor knew he was watching him. This stranger was watching Thor's every move, like a serpent watched a mouse. Unconsciously, the Thunder God tightened his grip on Mjölnir. He did not like the feel of this man.   
  
"His royal highness, Prince Helblindi of Jötunheimr, royal mage and emissary of the winter lands."  
  
Why did he have the feeling Loki was somehow the cause of this?  
  
"Welcome to Asgard, Prince Helblindi." Thor greeted, formally, to ease his nerves rather than for the sake of protocol. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Though in all honesty, there was no pleasure at all.   
  
Helblindi inclined his head with grace. "I thank you for your greeting, Prince of Asgard. I have heard tales spoken of you and now I stand here, pleased to see that at least in part they prove not to be true." Thor did not know if he was suppose to take that as a compliment. "As for the cause, I hope you do not mind, but I wished to see for myself, as best as a blind man may see, the man whom my brother has chosen for a husband." He paused for a moment, and with his staff as guidance moved closer to where Thor was standing. " I must admit I was quite surprised to learn that now I seem to hold relation to the mighty House of Odin."   
  
Thor forced a smile, even if this man in front of him could not see. "I assure you, Prince Helblindi, the surprise lies upon us all." As an afterthought, for he saw those blind eyes frowning, he quickly adds "No disrespect intended."  
  
The man laughs and it is not a pleasant sound. "Oh, none was taken. All know Loki as the oddity of the Cosmos. His choices have never been clear, not even when he was a child." He turns his attention back at the window, though what a blind man might see is much beyond him. Curiosity has him joining the Prince of Jötunheimr, though his hold on Mjölnir never lessens.

 

Frigga's gardens were wide and home to a thousand smells and colors. Every day they seem to bloom anew, a different spectacle with every sunrise. But that was not what attracted Thor's attention, for he spotted Loki down there, comfortably seated by the base of an old tree with a tome on his lap. The mentioned tome was forgotten however, for Thor could see that he was watching the main gardener's two children play with a little ball.   
  
"It is just hard to accept it." Helblindi says, and Thor is almost startled by the sound of it.  
  
One of the children kick the ball a little too hard, and the other doesn't catch it. The ball bounces and rolls in the ever-green grass, bumping gently into Loki's outstretched foot.   
  
Helblindi releases a sight. "I have known my brother my entire life. I know of his tricks and trail of mischief, yet I have never known him to ever grow to hate his own Land so strongly."  
  
Mjölnir almost slipped out of his grasp when he heard that. He stared at the Prince, then down at Loki. His wife gave the ball a little nudge with his foot, having it roll back to the children. Said children went to catch the ball, all while keeping their eyes glued on Loki. He just smiles.  
  
Thoughts trail him back to that day in Jötunheimr, of how Loki played with his little brother, of how he tackles all around him into making "snow angels" as he called them. Thor remembered that day, and he could not understand.   
  
Loki? Hate Jötunheimr? Loki who Thor just knew had slipped past Heimdall to enter it?   
  
"You travel all this way, Prince of Jötunheimr, just so you can shame the name of my wife with your lies?"  
  
"You put lies on my lips, my Prince. I never claimed such a thing. I said I wished to see the man whom my brother chose to be his husband. For I needed to see the reason the one person which I know to love Jötunheimr far greater than our Realm's King himself would betray his Land so greatly."  
  
One of the children approached Loki with small steps. She seems to say something. Loki nods his head. She then bounces and pulls out a flower from her hair, just to stick it to Loki's own. His wife just looks at the child, before sharing two words with her.   
  
Thor feels rage build up in his chest.   
  
"Loki did not betray his Land." He states with conviction, now looking straight into Helblindi's blind eyes. He knows he can see him. He counts on it. Let this man know the fire which burns within him.  
  
The other is calm as he says "He has betrayed his King, thus he has betrayed the Land."  
  
"He saved a King and prevented war! And for all his faults, he is still my wife and consort at this time, and I will not stand by and hear his own brother shame his name in such a fashion." Thor bellowed, his words causing the very room to shake. "If anything, your people should be grateful to him."  
  
All grew silent, save for Thor's ragged breaths. Mjölnir feels light in the thunderer's hands.  
  
All much too sudden, Helblindi laughs.   
  
"I must admit, you are not the man I pictured you to be." Helblindi said after what felt like eons. "Our legends describe you as the slayer of our kind, the monster which we often tell of to our children at night." Thor frowns. Helblindi notices. "Yet here you are, defending a Jötunn's honor - as poor as it is." He shakes his head. "I think Loki might have finally made a right choice. I hope, my Prince, that you shan't prove me wrong in believing this."  
  
From his robes, Helblindi takes out a pale blue pack which he extends to Thor. For a moment, the latter is hesitant and Helblindi says "It is for your wife. It will help him with his nightmares. He knows how to use what is inside."   
  
Slowly, Thor accepts the little bag, but remains cautious of its contents. Still, "Nightmares?" He questions. Plural?  
  
The Jötunn prince shrugs. "They are not my secret to share. If Loki shall ever be ready, he shall tell. Until such a time, Thor Odinson, take care and I hope you treasure what was given to you." Thor wishes to question those words, but Helblindi spins on his feels and in an instant, he is gone.  
  
Definitely Loki's brother, this one.

 

"My hero." A voice whispers in his ear and this time Thor does jump. How did Loki get here that fast?   
  
"Loki!" Thor exclaims when he finally sees it to be Loki in all blue glory, an amused expression on his face, and a flower tangled in his hair. An Edelweiss - found so often upon the snowy peaks of mountains not of this Land.   
  
"I heard you have defended my honor today, husband dear."   
  
He did. Thor did, and now that he is allowed to think, he cannot understand why he's done such a thing. Was it because he knew it was the way a husband had to act? He can feel his skin grow hot, yet does not know why.   
  
"You heard?"  
  
An amused puff. "I do believe the entire palace must have heard you. Oh no way - the stables are a little further away, and currently packed with hay... Yes, save for the stables. Probably." Thor closed his eyes and frowned. Wonderful.  
  
Red eyes set on the bag still in his hand and Loki smirks.   
  
"I see you finally met Helblindi. I hope you hasn't teased you too harshly. He keeps forgetting that is supposed to be my job." He tackles the bag from Thor's now slack hands, apparently inspecting its contents.   
  
Thor tumbled for some words. "He said it was for the nightma-"  
  
"Helblindi talks too much, husband. Less than half of what he says should ever be acknowledged. Even less should be considered. He's mostly a tease, in the end. But I believe he gets that from me. I did, after all, cultured him in everything he knows." Apparently satisfied with the bag's contents, he moves his hands and mutters a few soft words under his breath and the bag is gone. "But that is probably why I find myself being quite surprised of you, husband."  
  
Thor frowned again. "Why is that?"  
  
"You've probably been here for a while now, judging by how well you've been riled up. So I find myself surprised because of the lack of blood on the floor." Thor blinked. "Did you at least kick him?"  
  
"What?" He probably didn't hear that well.  
  
"Helblindi. Did you kick him?"  
  
Thor blinked once, twice. "Why should I?"  
  
"Well, he is a Jötunn..."  
  
"So are you."  
  
"I am Loki. There is a difference." After that, confusion was lost to Thor. Instead, came amusement. "So, did you hit him?" He shook his head. Loki pouted in disappointment. "Pity. He would have deserved it."  
  
Barely keeping in a laugh, Thor asked "Because he is a Jötunn?"  
  
"No. Because he is Helblindi. There is a difference."  
  
Thor couldn't keep the laugh in any longer. 

 


	4. 3

The following months seem to fly straight by, yet in the House of Odin the most spectacular thing happened.   
  
“Five fingers each! For each hand each..."  
  
The outside world seemed to live in total ignorance over this. For them, Loki still did all which struck his fancy. He and Thor would be seen together for weeks at a time before Loki would once again vanish from the palace for days on end and return with trinkets and tricks and sometimes buckets of snow - all wondrous gifts which seem to confuse the court and amuse Thor to no end. They thought the Jötunn insane and probably even dangerous: a monster with a child-like personality. They would never see the brilliance behind each shenanigan, never catch the trickster's eye and notice how sometimes those red rubies turned to emeralds for just a moment.   
  
“A mouth, a nose, I bumped my toe - no, not really, Brother Thor, but it rhymes."  
  
The children though, oddly enough, seemed to like Loki immensely. Their parents often despaired over this fact, but there was nothing they could do. The children, much like Loki, did what they wanted.   
  
“I see and feel each finger, although your skin feels different,  
I hear your words of comfort, and know you as my brother"  
  
Looking from the outside, nothing had changed. Most of Asgard saw Loki as the trickster-monster, the constant annoyance in their mist; the wolf among the sheep. But on the inside, Thor knew everything changed.  
  
“I see another pair of eyes, different yet the same as mine,  
And know they see the world just as well as any other colored eye..."  
  
Or maybe not quite everything, Thor thought humorously as Býleistr was searching his brains for the next verse.   
  
"Can't remember?" Thor asked, eyes now set on their touching hands, palm in palm, his own hands wearing pair of special gloves Loki had made once after it has been decided that Thor received one too many frostbites from his little brother.   
  
"No, I know the next verse. It's just tricky to remember. We haven't said the words to go with this for ages." The young one replied, though seemed to grow more and more frustrated with himself.   
  
"So, even without the last verse, this is how you always greeted Loki?"  
  
"Yes. Since I was barely reaching his waist. Back then I was always so mad because I was the littlest, but Brother Loki would point out that I was also the youngest. He'd say that one day soon I was going to right tower over him, and now I'm actually a finger taller than my brother!" Býleistr cried in pride, apparently no longer put down by his faulty memory. "But Brother Loki was always smaller and stranger than all the rest at court to begin with. He doesn't even fare well in our weather without his warm clothes on. I can remember him being sick a few times while I was still very little. And the black hair..." He paused a moment. "But I guess that's why we made this special greeting of ours - to remind us that even different, we are still the same. Sire was not happy when he learned, but that's part of the fun."  
  
Thor nodded, but he believed that Býleistr didn't fully understand just what he was speaking of. He was too young to understand - completely understand, but as Thor shifted his gaze to watch the form of his wife on the couch by the fire, finally embraced by the unseen hands of peaceful sleep, he believed he did.  
  
This must have been their sixth trip to Jötunheimr. After Helblindi's visit, Loki grew hesitant to having Thor join him on his regular trips to his brother's village. He never said why or explained himself, but Thor accepted his decision. In all honesty, Thor had grown to trust that Loki's always had a very good reason for his choices, or at the very least, a mischievous one.   
  
But today was a special occasion.

The night before Loki suffered from the worse case of night terrors Thor had ever witnessed. Though certainly not the first time this has happened, this has been the one time not even Helblindi's herbs from that special little bag seemed to help calm the little Jötunn. Come morning Loki insisted that everything was all-right with him. Looking at his wife's sunken eyes and shaky limbs however made Thor think differently.   
  
 _"Are you certain you're feeling well?" Thor had asked for what probably was the thousandth time that day, much to Loki's visible annoyance. Maybe he was overdoing it... it wasn't even mid-day yet._  
  
 _"Mother hen who has replaced my husband, please take note that despite the fact that his presence alone is enough to lower the intelligence level of all around him right now I would be eternally grateful if I had him back."_  
  
 _Thor sighed. It was a lost battle, he knew, but he still hopped that one day he might find a weak spot in that impenetrable wall Loki build around himself. A foolish dream, but had Loki not said ever so often that he was a fool?_  
  
 _"Is the nightmare bothering you anymore?" Thor asked again, testing his luck. It seems he was indeed a fool, because Loki shot him an annoyed glare and stalked away from his side. Yes, Thor thought as he made his way after his wife, Loki was right. He was indeed a fool._

   
But when he caught Loki trying to nap in secluded corner of the library and failing due to a similar problem as those of the night before, this fool became one very determined husband.  
  
"Býleistr, I know I have said so several times over the course of this day, but I thank you for your hospitality."  
  
The Jötunn brushed the thanks aside. "Think nothing of it, Brother Thor. Both you and Brother Loki will always be welcome here. Besides, I like you."  
  
Thor nodded, sincerely grateful. Who knew that he would end up feeling something like that towards a Jötunn?  
  
Býleistr let out a loud yawn. "I’m tired. I guess I forgot about my bedtime..." A pause in which Thor chuckled. "Don't tell Loki?" The young one asked, and Thor let out a short back of laughter.   
  
"Why ever not?"  
  
"Because he'll go all, 'I told you' and 'well, you felt no need for bed so you're obviously not tired' and just... just..."  
  
"Go all ‘mother’ on you?"  
  
Býleistr paused to think for a moment. "I think I remember what 'mother' means."  
  
Thor was incredulous. "You don't have a mother?"  
  
"We Jötunn don't have the notion of 'mother' and 'father' as you æsir do. We have a Sire, and siblings we call our Brothers. Loki says the other Realms find us odd because of this, but to us, you're all the odd ones. You have much too many shapes." He stretches. "It is late. You best go to sleep, Brother Thor." He then got up from his position sitting cross-legged on the floor, calling out a "I'll just go see if I can find some more firewood for you" before he left.  
  
Thor allowed himself a small smile before he stretched himself and made his way over to where his spouse was resting. So far, Loki seemed at peace. He could not see any tight lines around the eyes, nor did his breath seemed labored.   
  
 _Finally._  
  
There was no pattern to Loki's nightmares. They would just appear at random nights, and Thor could do nothing but hold Loki close and whisper tender words of comfort as Loki cried in his chest. It was the only time he would turn æsir, and once Thor caught stray whispers of his home and brother. As a husband, or at least as a friend, he tried to ask several times about Loki's terrors, but his wife never answered. Not even when it became clear that they were taking their tow on his body, now a frail looking thing no matter the shape he took.

He lied down next to Loki then, slowly so he would not make a sound, and just watched his wife rest. But after a while, he found his hand moving to stroke that raven hair.  
  
"What haunts your dreams, my carefree wife?"  
  
All is silent for a while, with nothing but the steady crackling of the fire until, "Why is this so important to you?"  
  
Thor's hand freezes, and his body goes stiff, but he forces himself to relax again, though he does not returns to stroking that hair.   
  
"It is because you are my wife..."  
  
"You merely state a fact. Not a reason." Loki's soft voice answers back. Thor thinks hard.  
  
"It is because I care."  
  
Loki turns to him then, red eyes staring back as if he was seeing his husband for the very first time, and Thor cannot meet his gaze any longer.   
  
"You shouldn't." Loki says quietly. "You'll only give yourself a headache." He then turns away. "Now go to sleep, husband."  
  
Thor tries, but can't say he succeeds. He just lies awake and wonders, measuring the other's breath. At least, until Loki sight.  
  
"I was born in a world which has been at war with yours since before anyone can remember." Loki says, just as quietly as before, and Thor's ears pick up. "I have seen people go to battle, never to return, and have seen a Realm die one day at a time." Loki stops for a moment and Thor feels like asking him to continue. But he keeps his tongue. This was not the time. "The Jötunheimr which you see today is but a shadow of what is has been and what it could have been."  
  
Loki speaks of a world he once knew and Thor unconsciously hugs his wife from behind. He tells him stories of how he saw cities burn children cry and how sometimes these images still burn fresh in his chaotic mind. The Thunder God wonders, how painful it must be, to be among people whom all but invaded your home. How his wife must feel, alone among the enemy. Suddenly, his wife's need to journey home from time to time begins to sound so rational, and the constant tricks so normal. If roles were inversed, he might have done the same. Only Thor would never chose such a fate if given a choice.  
  
He finds himself asking Loki once again "Why did you marry me?"   
  
He is answered with a "Go to sleep, Thor."  
  
He cannot.

He can hear Loki's breath grow softer yet Thor still searched his brains for an answer. The answer was right in front of him, skipping along as a child would. Underneath the lies there was a truth. But how can you tell the difference? With Loki, how did you know what was a true? How could you? How could one ever hope to read this free spirit of the snow, which had bound himself to him in every way, whom had no reason to interfere in one small matter between two kings and who changed the fate of two Realms with just a few clever words.  
  
But then Mjölnir got stolen, and the thief, a certain Þrymr, has hidden it eight leagues beneath the earth, from which it will be retrieved, but only if Freyja is brought to him as his wife.  
  
And Loki's plan does _not_  amuse him.

"Loki! I will have you know that I hold you responsible for our current predicament!"  
  
Arrows fly by two shadows dressed in lady's garments, and in the distance their pursuers release a fierce battle cry. It is a sight so different from what the calm and quiet land of Jötunheimr has grown to learn that one could scarcely believe their eyes.   
  
"It was not I who banged that Jötunn's head right off his shoulders."  
  
The Jötunn Þrymr cries for his men to go faster and bring him the deceivers’ heads upon a platter. The noise rises and more arrows fly.   
  
"But it was you who was responding to his advances!"  
  
The shadows keep on running deeper and deeper into the unknown, dodging arrows and avoiding the thin ice which one barely sees.  
  
"I was just getting into character."  
  
The arrows no longer swish past their ears and tear on their dresses, though the cries remain not far behind.   
  
"The man was close to defiling you right then and there! How can you even jest about such things?", Thor growls.  
  
They take cover behind a pile of boulders, breaths coming in fast.   
  
"Oh, honestly husband! I would have defended myself in a perfectly lady-like manner, as dictated by my role as your chambers' maid, remember?" one of them says, motioning at the now ruined green garments.  
  
The other groans and throws his hands into the air, tearing away the veil which covered his sun-kissed skin. Thor Odinson is not happy.   
  
"His hand was on your hip!"  
  
"Oh, the Norns! You didn't see me raise a fuss when Þrymr was attempting to put his hands around your waist." Loki argues, trying to inspire reason.  
  
"It is not the same thing!", But there was no reason to be inspired.   
  
A voice which belongs to nether cries "there they are!" and three dark arrows stab the ground near their feet. The two look at each other for just a moment before they jump out of hiding. Loki calls upon his magic and creates a mist as dark as nightfall to conceal their actions, and Thor, trusty Mjölnir held tight in both hands, brings it down with all his might, cracking the earth in two.   
  
Thunder booms in the distance and lightning sets the sky aflame. The Jötunn stop their march, blinded by the light for just a moment. When the sky no longer burns their eyes, they prepare to resume their persuit, but Loki's mist still holds true, and they no longer see their targets. One brave one enters, they hear him cry in fear and then the sound of something dropping can be heard.   
  
The mist slowly begins to disperse after that, but it does not reveal the form of neither Thor nor Loki. Instead, it shows them the start of a very wide, very deep crater where flat land should have been.  
  
Þrymr curses the skies, and his voice is heard all through-out the land.  
  
"You think we're safe?" Thor asked at last, several miles further, when both he and Loki felt their feet just couldn't hold them anymore without taking a minute to breathe.   
  
"I think the main army stopped its advances for now." Loki says between gaps of air. "But I am not as naive as to say that we are in any way 'safe'."

Sufficient to say, the plan didn't work. At least, not fully. They got in, they got the hammer and Freyja wasn't even involved. But dear old Thor, dressed as the charming goddess, just had to be the honorable husband that he was and defend his wife's honor when a random party guest decided he could make lovely eyes to ‘Freyja's’ chambers' maid, thus blowing their cover.  
  
Truth be told, Thor was under the impression that Loki could have taken a less charming appearance... Or at least keep it up longer now that they were alone!  
  
"I still blame you, Loki."  
  
The other rolled his now red eyes. "You have your precious hammer back! What more do you want?" It sounded like a challenge, and as tempting as it was, no, he did not rise to the bait. Besides, this bride's gown was killing him! Especially that damn bloody corset!  
  
Loki sighted heavily, fumbling with his own skirts. "Husband, stop further messing up Angrboða's gown. Do you have any idea how hard it was to persuade her into lending us her clothes?"  
  
"No, and honestly right now I don't care. There's an army behind us, Loki, and if we are to linger here any further- Wait a minute, you're a shapeshifter. Why didn't you pretend to be Freyja?"  
  
"You never asked."  
  
Something moved in the shadows, and both Jötunn and æsir tensed. The listened, in perfect silence, for any sign of life around them. But nothing was heard, nothing moved...  
  
Thor wanted to believe it was just the wind.  
  
"Got you now, Thunder God!"  
  
A giant flew right at him, from where none could tell. But he was coming, this one brave soldier of Þrymr's. He had a spear in hand, and his aim seemed true. Thor had no time to move.  
  
He was thrown back into the darkness by a blue-green light.   
  
"Idiot husband!" Loki growled, the blue-green light which stuck to his hands beginning to fade. "Don't lower your guard! A king needs to expect the unexpected. You're thinking like a bloody warrior!"  
  
"I _am_  a warrior!" Thor growled as more of Þrymr's men were coming at them.   
  
"You are the future king of Asgard, you imbecile!" Loki cried, taking care of two who charged at him. "Start thinking like one! I will not have all my hard work be in vain."  
  
Loki stops speaking, for in his rant, he hasn't noticed when one has gotten close - much to close for magic to be of any use.  
  
"Loki!"  
  
But the shape went right through Loki, whom flickered for a moment before vanishing, the real Loki jumping from behind a block of ice, and pulled out a dagger safely hidden in his belt. With an uttered spell, it multiplied in his hand.   
  
"Rule number one, husband." Loki said. "Always have something up your sleeve."  
  
Thor hit his opponent in the knee, effectively crushing it, and taking the man out of the fight. But he did not kill him. He turned to Loki, and ready to jump in his aid, but he found that there was no need.  
  
He had sparred with Loki before, but never could he imagine his wife was capable of holding his own in a fight. Thor had always tried to be latent with him, now he knew that such thing would not be necessary any longer.  
  
One by one, the ones who dared challenge Loki fell to the ground, a dagger in their leg, shoulder or chest. It mesmerized Thor, and he almost didn't see the one whom came this close to decapitating him. But he did, and he also saw Loki, and before Mjölnir was even lifted, the Jötunn fell, a dagger in his guts.

His wife never ceased to amaze him.  
  
Like a snowflake, Loki seemed to glide among Þrymr's men, daggers flying, spells ready to be cast. It was a sight he never believed he would see, and a side of Loki he didn't know. After all these months, he didn't know Loki could fight, least of all fight quite like this.   
  
His aim was true, yet never set to kill. His moves fast, not a muscle used excessively. Behind those eyes, Thor saw a carefully planned out strategy, a look he only saw when he fought alongside his father.   
  
Only difference, Thor doubted Odin would ever fight in a dress. But he sure was not complaining.   
  
"Duck!" Loki cried, and set a dagger flying towards Thor's head. Hel, he didn't even say that out loud! But when he ducked and the dagger stuck in the shoulder of a Jötunn behind him, he made a promise to himself that he will get Loki to teach him that move.   
  
But first: his wife was having much too much fun. And Mjölnir felt rather light.  
  
The fight was one the people of Jötunheimr would speak about for years. But the moment the last of Þrymr's men fell, neither Thor nor Loki were willing to wait enough for others to make their presence known.   
  
"It's like Þrymr doesn't know how to take a joke." Loki commented as he slides over a patch of ice, and Thor couldn't help but laugh.   
  
"It's not every day you find your bride is not what you imagined her to be."  
  
"Talking from experience?" Loki's ability to bait Thor in the most inopportune times was a gift indeed. But Thor was actually getting used to it. But maybe just because of that Thor wondered why something sounded a bit off to him when Loki said that.  
  
"Yes and no." He replied, jumping over a crater. "I must admit that the first time I laid eyes on you it was hard for me to see you as a beauty. At times, I still find it hard."  
  
"A lifetime of pink and gold will do that to you, right?" Again, there was something in his tone which Thor did not like. He couldn't put a name to it, but it was there.   
  
"Among others." He almost slipped on ice that time. "But I think the most interesting part is where my dear wife proves to be wiser than all of Asgard combined, when it is said that the Jötunn are mere heartless monsters with little brains."  
  
Loki's run begins to slow, and Thor barely notices this.   
  
"I believe you proved me wrong, Loki. About many a thing."  
  
And then Thor could not hear Loki's footsteps mirror his own. He stopped and turned. Loki was just standing them, a smile on his lips and oh, what could he have said to deserve such a smile? It irradiated warmth, even in this cold and almost forgotten Realm, and Thor could swear he saw something sparkle in those eyes. Was it pride? Why?  
  
"I believe you are ready now." Loki said then, but why did his voice drip with sadness?

  
Something happened then. His limbs suddenly grew limp and before his mind even began to process this new fact he was falling towards the snow-covered ground, as boneless as a rag-doll. He tried to speak, call Loki, but his voice failed him, his jaw muscles refusing to work.   
  
He couldn't hear his heart beating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would love to hear what you guys thought of this chapter :))


	5. 4

He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe! His body felt like it all but died, yet his senses were still as keen as ever. He could fear the cold snow he had landed on. He could hear every fallen snowflake land upon the ground. He could see even the smallest detail of the clouded sky from above. But he could not move  
  
"Pease don't make this harder than it already is." Loki's quiet voice said. Thor couldn't be sure, but it seems to hold... regret? Why? What was happening?  
  
Battle cries were now heard, getting nearer and nearer. But Loki's much softer footsteps rang much clearer in his ears, particularly because they seemed so very far away. He tried to move again, but his body would not listen.   
  
"I wouldn't waste strength trying to fight it off. I developed this curse myself and I assure you it is most unbreakable." Loki's voice rings clear but Thor can't believe he's hearing the words. "It will render your body quite lifeless, so to say. But don't worry; you'll still be aware of all that goes around in front of you. And the effect is only temporary. So it will wear off soon enough."  
  
He attempts to fight the curse get more and more intense with each frustrating moment. What was Loki doing?  
  
Soon, Loki's feet finally carry him into Thor's line of vision, and his wife is still watching him with those remorseful eyes and proud smile on his lips. Thor does not understand. He does not understand when Loki crouches down to his level, when he brings a hand to move a stray bang of golden hair behind his ear, or when a teardrop hits his cheek. He is now half-covering his body with this own, and Thor does not understand.   
  
He does not understand why Loki's crying.  
  
"I told you, so many months ago, that you will come to hate me, husband." Loki says and Thor is suddenly afraid. But strangely enough, he is not afraid for himself. "Sadly, we don't live in a fairytale, husband dear. I wished we did but as it happens, you ended up with the prince of a broken Realm as your consort."   
  
Thor thinks his eyes widen when Loki lets lose a half-sigh, half-sob.   
  
"Þrymr's men will be here any moment, darling, and they will have blood on their mind. I won't let them get too close though, don't worry. And when it's all over, and trust me, you know when it is, go straight back to Asgard. Don't turn back. Don't try to be a hero. By the end, you'll know what to do. Please just do this for me?"   
  
 _No, not until you tell me what you're doing, Loki!_  
  
He leans down, and brushes those cold lips against his temple. Then in his ear, Loki whispers "You've asked me time and again why I married you. Tonight, if all goes well, you will finally learn." Thor is struggling with the spell as best as he can. In vain. "I promise you this, my husband, there shall be no more pretending. You shall know the truth soon enough. Tonight, I shall utter only one falsehood. My very last lie in this world..." He does not like the sound of this "... so use it well."  
  
And that is when they are no longer alone.   
  
"Well, well, well now, what have we here?" The Jötunn Þrymr said, coming closer to the two. Thor felt Loki tense above him. "If it isn't little Loki Laufeyson and the Golden Prince of Asgard himself. But what do I see? Loki dearest, what happened to your darling husband."  
  
Thor saw ruby eyes stare right in his own. He saw in them the words which did not surface - he saw the "I am sorry" and "forgive me" and even that "I told you that you shall hate me". He saw in them the truth and Thor struggled with all his mind to move at least a muscle, to tell his spouse that he didn't have to do this. But Loki's curse was strong, and no matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't shake it off.  
  
Loki's lips parted.  
  
 _Don't, Loki. Don't do what I fear you'll do._

 

The lie which slipped with such ease past those now so-familiar lips shall hunt Thor till the day he died.  
  
"He is dead. Shot down by a stray arrow of one of your men."  
  
Mad laughter fills the otherwise quiet land, and Þrymr's laugh is a cruel one. His men laugh as well, as few as they remained standing, but out of all the voices, Þrymr's lings the strongest. Thor wants to scream, to yell, to tell Loki to run.  
  
"Why my dear, dear, nephew." Þrymr's words are mocking, and Thor takes note of the fact- Nephew? "You sound cross with the fact. I would have thought you pleased. You did, after all, send me that raven with the exact whereabouts of Mjölnir. But next I see, you're aiding the Prince in recovering it. Dressed as a chambers' maid, no doubt."   
  
"I can care no less for the damn hammer. But I was bound to this man. Wherever he goes, I must go... had to."  
  
More laughter greets Loki's words. A shadow looms over and he sees Loki jump to his feet.  
  
"Don't you dare touch him!" Loki cries, magic dancing on his fingers.   
  
"Oh, nephew! You can shift between worlds in a heartbeat, yet you linger over the dead carcass of an asgardian. Honestly, I cannot understand you."  
  
"Because, uncle! This man is my husband I shan't leave him here to rot on his dead Realm!"  
  
"That is not a nice thing to say about your home, son."  
  
A snort. "Naturally. After you and Laufey stripped it of all its finery I am still expected to see it as the most glorious of all the Nine Realms. You jest far better than I, uncle."  
  
"You shall mind you tongue, boy." There lies a threat in that tone, and Thor once again tried to scream  _run._ "After you have betrayed our Land in favor of the enemy, you should be the last to criticize us. We tried to win back the Casket of Ancient Winters from Odin in numerous acts of bravery, while you, brave little Loki, merely spoke of fantasies!"  
  
"Piece with the æsir is not a fantasy!"   
  
"It is! That wretched treaty shall fall before the sun rises again in the morning, you foolish boy! Or do you not believe the death of the Prince of Asgard is cause for war?"  
  
"Oh, I was counting on that."   
  
All is still for a moment and Thor grows desperate for a sound, a shade - anything. Loki moved out of his line of vision and his eyes refused to move after him!   
  
"What do you mean, trickster?" Þrymr's voice is deadly but Thor feels dread build up when he hears Loki laugh.  
  
"Have neither you nor Sire figured out just why I chose to marry Thor Odinson? Helblindi had it all figured out in no time. Oh, tisk-tisk, uncle. Judging by the look upon your face, I think not. Well, allow me to enlighten you, Þrymr. I, unlike you, love my land. I love it with all its qualities and all its faults and I love the people who inhabit it- well, most of them at least."   
  
If Thor could have chuckled, he would have. But he couldn't so instead, he tried to concentrate on fighting the curse.   
  
"But I also saw what you put Jötunheimr through. All the battles, all the lost lives... You brought our World to the edge of ruin because of your greed! You crippled her so far that nothing appeared to be able to save her, at least until I had a little idea about the union of two worlds. One as close to death as a mere midgardian, the other flourishing in abundance and immortality. Still, it is rather problematic when the Kings of two Realms despise each other and their respective Realms, so long term peace and collaboration are sadly out of the question, especially when the treaty they share is fragile at best. But why should I look towards the old? The future is bright and easy to mold, and in Asgard I had a little Prince all on his way to being named King. Why not mold this still raw metal into something grand? Something that may finally see Jötunheimr for what it is rather for what you set it up to be."  
  
Thor couldn't breath, even if he could, that is. He knew his heart would have stopped had the curse not already seen to that. Is this what Loki meant when he said that he will not have all his hard work be in vain? Is this the reason for all those trips to Býleistr's village? Is this why Loki-

 

"You set out to change the mentality of an entire race!" Þrymr cried, scandalized.   
  
"One is more than enough!" Loki yelled. "If you can have but one see the light, others shall see as well. It may take weeks and months and years but in the end others shall see as well. It is a matter of time. You cannot be at war with whom you share your bread."  
  
A thousand little details began to link in Thor's mind. The little tricks, the Jötunn skin, the visits, the riddles, the never ending acts which tested his patience. All that apparent chaos was no chaos at all. It was all planned - every single second of the past year has been planned out by Loki from the very beginning. And the nightmares of the broken world, Loki sounded certain as he spoke, but Thor could see now Loki had only one shot at this. One shot to stop this war which always floated right beyond everyone's reach, but which remained there, firmly at everyone's grasp. Should this fail fail...  
  
Loki was hunted by the idea that he would fail.   
  
Silence again. Then "And all you need to do then is get rid of us."  
  
"Nothing Odin's men are not capable of."  
  
" Indeed... And why a wife?"  
  
Indeed, why a wife? Why play this elaborate hoax? He could have easily slipped in as a random traveler, gain his trust, teach him the ways of the "monsters". But would he have listened? Thor wondered. Where Loki had acted any different, had Loki made one thing differently, would Thor have understood?   
  
"Because Midgardians have a saying: behind any great man lies an even better woman. If I had to play the role of an ásynja consort for this to work, then so be it."   
  
It all made sense. Everything made sense. War with Jötunheimr was unavoidable. One side needed only an excuse. Many lives would end, and history shall repeat itself. The æsir would drive the Jötunn back into the heart of their world, just like before, and Jötunheimr will die a little more, again. Orphaned children, widdowed mothers...  
  
 _I love my Land._  
  
Loki did it all for his home, and for its history to not repeat itself.   
  
"Kill him."  
  
Þrymr's order has something snap in Thor, for with a sudden will he did not believe he still had the thunderer fights off the curse as best as he can and better. He hears, like in a dream, how all around him moves, how everything spirals into Chaos. He hears Loki utter one spell after another, and how one man at a time cries and roars in pain and rage. But he minds them little. All he can hear is Loki, and all he can think of is moving.   
  
"Just hold still already, you viper!"  
  
He hears Loki cry out, and fury grips at his heart.  
  
"We should have put you down at birth, you cursed creature! You and all your schemes... we should have known something was wrong from the start, or at least when you started filling your brothers' heads with fantasies."  
  
"There is nothing wrong in wishing for better!"  
  
Why does Loki not run? Why is he still lingering? He should run! He delivered his massage! Now he can go and hide till Thor will-  
  
 _"...do you not believe the death of the Prince of Asgard is cause for war?"_  
  
"Oh, I'm counting on it."

 

War with Jötunheimr was unavoidable, Loki wanted Asgard to be the first to invade Jötunheimr and take down its current tyrant, but for that to work, someone had to make a mistake. Thor was not dead, Loki saw to that but war could still start on account of  _the death of the wife of the Crown Prince of Asgard!_  
  
There was a cry, and the sound of bone being crushed.  
  
 _No! Loki!_  
  
Thor fought against the curse, fought with all which still lied within him. He understood why this had to be done, but he would not let that fool kill himself!   
  
 _"Please, don't make this any harder."_  
  
He was going to strangle that cursed snow vixen with his bare hands! Curse that manipulative little viper! He couldn't do this! Thor would not allow him to get away that easy! He won't let himself be made into a fool and most importantly he will not let Loki do this!   
  
At long last, he could feel his fingers twitch and his eyes moved a bit. His heart started beating, faintly, but there and he gathered breath back in his lungs. He managed to turn, just enough to see Þrymr yank Loki off the ground by his neck, right above a crevasse. Blood leaked out from the corner of his mouth and the dress was torn. One foot at least appeared to be bend at an odd angle... and that was enough to have Thor move his hand.   
  
"Any last words, you disgusting _wench_?" Þrymr spit, and Loki laughed a broken laugh.  
  
The Jötunn's hands were crushing his throat, and sound stopped leaving those now bloody lips. But Thor could still make out the silent laugh, and he wanted to cry. He forced his other hand to move, trying to reach for Mjölnir, a fallen stone in the sand. But his eyes caught Loki's lips mouth words, silent words for his eyes only. Thor long stopped wondering how Loki just knew.  
  
 _Thank you, Thor._  
  
Thank you for listening. Thank you for learning. Thank you for turning into the man I always hoped you'd be. Thank you for giving me one last night at home. Thank you for letting me have one laugh too many at your expense. Thank you for the comfort. Thor did not know what exactly Loki was thanking him for, or if it he was indeed thanking  _him_ in the first place. But just as Þrymr's fingers loosened their hold, Thor's own brushed the tip of Mjölnir.  
  
Loki used his name.  
  
In a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder, Thor regained control of his body. Those around him, the few who still were standing, leaped out of his way. Almost none got to see when Mjölnir glowed as the lightning from above, for Thor dived past Þrymr, as the man could wait, and jumped after Loki.  
  
All Thor remembered was Lok's eyes as life seemed to rush right back into them at the sight of him. He looked straight into those ruby eyes and saw the naked horror they could not hide, as well as a little bit of hope he wished so badly was truly there, all before everything became white then blue and green and black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and another cliffhanger... sorry?


	6. 5

It seemed like forever when the world finally stopped turning. A little bit of ale did wonders to ease the nerves however. But now his head felt like a hoard of angry bees have made a nest in it! Any moment now he would hear Loki call him a silly oaf and probably mutter about getting just what he deserves.   
  
All he heard was the steady howling of the wind.  
  
All was silent, all around. The cold, dark realm of Jötunheimr spread in front of him in silent support. It was broken, shattered, but it was there, and it was such a lovely Realm. It was worth fighting for, worth dying for, just as Loki was so prepared to do.  
  
It was hard having to remind himself that Loki was not by his side. Couldn't be...

 

He had grown accustomed to that little Jötunn's presence. The sarcastic comments, the judging eyes, the mischief, it all offered him peace. Not having Loki here felt almost crippling. He had to remind himself that he had a job to do today, and by the Norns he will do it. He had to do it.   
  
If only for Loki.  
  
"My King, the people have gathered in the town square." One of the royal guards announces. With a nod, he gave the guard a smile, and with a deep breath, he followed the man to the podium.   
  
Apparently, it was time.   
  
It has been years ago by now, yet the memory of that moment when all had been reveled played within his mind so faithfully it was almost crushing him.   
  
-  
  
 _The landing was harsh, despite Mjölnir keeping them afloat. The wind, the cold, the impossibly hard snow-covered ground._ __  
  
Something warm was beneath him, something he was holding close to his chest as if life depended on it. Something he was cradling protectively to his chest. It felt soft and hard at the same time, and oh so warm. There was a cough, and Thor's sore muscles finally dared to look. Cradled to his chest was the broken shape of Loki, now pink skinned and eyes like emeralds...  
  
-  
  
Thor reached the podium. A loud crowd had gathered to see the signing of the long-awaited peace treaty between Asgard and Jötunheimr. A proper one this time, a real one. Helblindi was already present, as was Býleistr, both their faces grave. He greeted them both and shacked their hands, the gloves Loki made for him all those years ago serving him well. They always had.  
  
"Helblindi, I must admit it is a pleasure." He said to the oldest, a smile on his lips. He knew the other couldn't see it, but who said he couldn't offer one?  
  
The man smiled in return, blind eyes lighting up at the greeting. "You'll probably think differently in a few hours."  
  
"Play nice." Thor warned playfully before turning to the youngest. "And how's our big man holding up?"  
  
"I want to jump into a hole and hibernate till the end of time..." He answered in a pained whisper. Thor was doing great efforts not to laugh. "Or just dive into hot water and drown myself." At this, he chuckled and even Helblindi found himself grinning.   
  
"That bad?", he questioned.   
  
He appeared bluer than usual when he leaned it to whisper in complete confidence "People are looking at me, Brother. It's creepy."   
  
"If it's of any consolation", Thor whispered back, "I feel the same way. Just hold up for a little while longer."  
  
Býleistr nodded in understanding, but looked no more comfortable about the situation. "I just wish Brother Loki was here."  
  
Thor did too. 

-

 _"You had to do it." Loki accused, glaring with Thor with everything he had. "I told you not to be a hero... ", a cough. "But you just had to do it."_  
  
"Loki, don't talk."  
  
"Why?" He grumbled out. "Why should I? So you can proceed by accusing me of insanity? You may as well save your breath. Helblindi already said everything there was to be said." __  
  
"No, Loki." __  
  
A bitter laugh, and Thor could see the blood which stained those once white teeth. "That included, husband dear." __  
  
"No, Loki. I ask this of you so you won't hurt yourself any further."  
  
Loki only laughs harder, "You think I care about that now? I was supposed to be dead by now, Odinson! And you, you were suppose to be on your way back to Asgard! I created the best excuse you can ever have to open war. I gave it to you on a silver platter and you- you..."  
  
Those green eyes burned with such rage and passion Thor was certain he will never see again in his life. __  
  
"All my careful planning- all these months- all wasted..."  
  
And just as that fire was alit, so did it became to waver. Somewhere much deeper than any cut can go, something was breaking inside Loki. Thor could see it in those eyes, could feel it in the beatings of the other's heart. __  
  
"No, Loki..." Thor breathed. Loki was shaking his head.  
  
"Imbecile..." Loki muttered and tried to shove his husband off, but Thor wouldn't budge.  
  
This maddening, cruel creature under him, this little monster needed to know. Know what? That Thor did not blame him for doing what he did? That he understood? Did he? Could he? He needed only to look in those eyes which now refused to meet his own to know that he probably could not. Not fully. But at the same time he did. He understood why Loki needed to do what he did. He understood, as though of all which his eyes have seen in the past months and felt the cold and snow from around them - Thor understood. But as he felt that heart beat near his, as he felt the body heat - he could not understand.  
  
-  
  
Peace between Asgard and Jötunheimr has always been fragile at best, as Þrymr had said. For the people to see the current rulers of these countries greet each other without a trace of malice was certainly something they never believed they would live to see.   
  
An asgardian guard came forth with pen and ink - as well as a parchment which he read for all to hear. The words spoke of peace and collaboration between two great Realms, brothers linked by the branches of Yggdrasil, but which at some point have forgotten that.   
  
Forgotten is this tie no longer.  
  
"A person dear to me once dreamed", Thor began, "of a world in which Jötunheimr and Asgard were no longer enemies. In which we were all the same. This person dreamed of this for so long that this wish became more than that. It became a purpose. It became a conviction. This person showed me and taught me that beneath the skin and customs, we are all the same..."

-

 

 _The hand which had held to the back of the trickster's head untangled itself from the mass of soft black hair, ever so slowly, to cress a cheek with uncommon tenderness._ __  
  
"My brave Loki..." Thor whispered.  
  
Loki eyed him curiously at that, green eyes wide and bright.  
  
"Why did you marry me?" The question slips past Thor's lips like in a dream. He's asked it so many times it is as familiar to his lips as the act of breathing. __  
  
"You ask that still? Have you not listened to a word I uttered?" Loki replied, voice tense, that spark in his eyes burning brightly for another moment more, before its glow began to slip again. __  
  
Thor's other hand slips from around Loki's waist and the thunderer uses it to lift himself just a bit from further crushing his wife's body. Loki's breathing comes easier now, and Thor watches how that chest rises and falls, how those eyelashes flutter only slightly when they blink... __  
  
"You answered to Þrymr." Thor counters, voice barely above a whisper. "I'm asking you to answer me."  
  
-  
  
"-That no matter what our eyes see, or what we touch, we still breath the same air, still feel hunger, still feel pain, still crave the little pleasures which make our lives worth living."  
  
-  
  
 _Green eyes stare, watch him as if they were seeing him for the first time. Thor lets him have his time, even when he feels the other's trembles, he waits._ __  
  
"Would... " Loki starts, voice but a shadow of what Thor knew it to be. "Would you not have done the same? Were you in my place?" He stops, but Thor sees it is more. So he waits. He waits for Loki to speak again. He doesn't wait long. "Were your world dying, would you not have done everything you could to save it?"  
  
Those green eyes watch him still, and in those eyes, Thor can see that fire begin to flicker up again. He finally can put a name to it. So easy to crush, so slow to die... thou name is Hope.  
  
"My brave, brave Loki..." he breaths in the raven hair. "I cannot answer that." He feels the other stiffen, and the fragile body shakes. "I cannot answer because I am not as clever nor as brave as you." A hand is on his cheek, a desperate plea.  
  
-  
  
" ... and we shall always mourn the loss of a loved one..."  
  
-  
  
 _He lifts the hands which stroked that cheek, now cold underneath the skin. He lifts it, and picks Loki's own. They bring them at the level of their eyes, and Loki's are watching how Thor has their palms touching, mirroring each other, in a fashion similar to the way Býleistr and Loki greet each other._ __  
  
It must have been the first time Loki was struck speechless.  
  
"Do-" Loki tried. "Do you even know what that means?"  
  
Thor nods, smile honest, eyes warm, and he can see it in Loki's eyes that the other understands. __  
  
"Five fingers each" Thor says, and tears gather at the corner of Loki's eyes "on two hands each" He lets his fingers slip between Loki's own "one pair of eyes which see the same world as I..." and he struggled with his other hand to brush the tears from those green eyes. __  
  
And Thor now knows, just knows, that when he plants that kiss on the other's brow, Loki's tears are not of despair.

 

-

"This person has opened my eyes and made me see beyond my own misconceptions. He showed me the truth, despite how rarely he had uttered it. And he had made me understand that each life is important. No matter how small..." and it this, he turns to the Laufeysons, especially at Býleistr "or grand, one is."  
  
The youngest prince blushes in a very dark shade of blue, but he grins a huge grin which threatens to split his face in half. The guard in the back bites back a laugh.   
  
"I find it fitting-" Thor continued "-now that I find myself in front of you, to thank this man for his dream, for not giving up and for passing it over. For all we know, if not for him, we may not be here today. We might not bear witness to this great leapt in history."  
  
People are clapping, few at first, than many more.   
  
King Thor of Asgard, named so not long ago by King Odin Allfather, was the first to sign the treaty. Prince Regent Helblindi, was the second, the asgardian helping him put pen to parchment where it was needed. And Crown Prince Býleistr, so young a creature, signed the last, more nervous than was probably required in a future ruler.   
  
But it was all-right. Today, everything was all-right.   
  
Applause filled the square, and a great many cried. Jötunn and æsir alike cried and cheered the wonder which lay before them.  
  
But King Thor of Asgard still feels reveled to step down from that bloody platform. The Laufeysons as well, Býleistr being the more vocal of the two. And he is forced to agree that yes, that felt incredibly awkward, as Midgardians said (or so Loki said).  
  
"Well, we lived to see this day after all." Helblindi comments when the three members of royalty finally get some privacy. Thor nods silently in approval. Býleistr has already run off towards the food, bless the little one's young spirit. "And your little speech was... charming."  
  
"I tried to write something down. But I was never good with giving speeches."  
  
"Few are good with giving speeches, especially when one addresses two Realms." Helblindi confirmed. "But I think Loki would have loved it. Quite a shame he didn't get to hear it."  
  
Thor just nods.   
  
Helblindi clears his throat. "I think I will go find Býleistr and make sure he doesn't cause any mischief. It pains me to remember just how little he knows of protocol."   
  
"You're the one who refused the title of King, Regent."  
  
The Jötunn laughs. "A blind King? I think not. Besides, Býleistr likes you better." He then leaves, apparently pleased with himself for some reason.  
  
Thor can't help himself. "I love you too, darling." Loki's influence is showing, but Helblindi is laughing. Maybe that is enough.  
  
But at last, he is alone, and he thinks that at last he can breathe.

 

"That was a wonderful speech, my King."   
  
At least he was alone.   
  
The guard which held the ink during the signing of the treaty approached him, boldly and without hesitation.   
  
"Thank you, my friend."  
  
The man smiles and why does he feel like he knows that smile?   
  
"Although, I probably would have changed a few things. Particularly the choice of words."  
  
And why does he feel like he knows that voice?  
  
"I thought the speech I drafted for you was pretty good. I don't understand what you'd want to change anything-"  
  
"Loki, what are you doing here?"  
  
The guard, now wearing Loki's asgardian appearance, appeared to be stretching his members in a most nonchalant manner. No doubt the armor felt a tad uncomfortable, and Thor was not ready to ask where he got it. He only hoped Loki showed some form of mercy... But then, his wife's probably done far worse.   
  
"You'd think I'd actually miss the chance of seeing you sweat in front of an endless crowd of people?"  
  
"Seriously, Loki, you're still supposed to be 'dead' to the general world, in case you forgot."  
  
"Ah, so you finally admit you're a part of the general world?"  
  
"Loki, stop it."  
  
"I wouldn't be Loki if I would." And that is when Thor is forced to agree. Still...  
  
"How did you even manage to sneak past Mother?"  
  
"I just told her where I'd be."  
  
"And she let you?"  
  
"I'm no longer on the edge of death, husband dear." Thor doesn't need reminding.   
  
"You completely disregarded the question."  
  
"Naturally."  
  
Thor just sighs. He gives up. Arguing with Loki is never worth it. He does what he wants ether way. But over time, he learned to read between the lines.   
  
He can hear that "I never believed this day would come", "I had to see it in order to believe it" and that "thank you" which will never be voiced. He hears and sees, in everything which is Loki, just how happy he is. He hears the wonder and feels the emotion and that feeling of completion which Loki shall never show. He can feel it, somewhere deep within himself, the music of Loki's very soul. He does not question it, but he accepts it, for with Loki, you merely need to feel. Anything else is but illusion.  
  
How could he ever see this man as anything but beautiful?  
  
The gold and green armor looked good on him, Thor had to admit. It made him look every bit as strong as Thor knew him to be, but did not completely hide that grace of his. It made him forget how close he had come. How after the incident with Þrymr, Loki was so close... But they have made it back home in time. Nobody except select people knew Loki did the impossible that night.   
  
Loki's forest green eyes caught his own, a curious gleam in them. He smiles. He could not believe he came so close to losing that.  
  
"You like what you see." It might have been a question, but Thor heard it as a statement. And oh, he could not deny it. He had never found himself craving men before, but this was Loki, the wife he took on willingly, and now even Freyja's beauty seamed a dying star compared to his.  
  
"Yes." He breathed and Loki's smile only grew. "It's a good look."  
  
"I should insist we travel to Midgard more often. Loose tongue looks lovely on you."  
  
"And silver-tongue will always be good on you." That earned a laugh, and oh how he loved to hear Loki laugh.

 

Just then, little snowflakes begin to fall. Both look up, and for a while, just admire their slow descent towards the ground. With each snowflake, Loki's skin returns to its natural blue. Thor's smile drops only a little, but Loki probably notices. There is very little those eyes miss.  
  
"You know, my husband, you never answered that question." Loki say, making Thor frown. "Remember the story of the midgardian knight and his cursed wife? That night I asked you to fancy yourself the knight from that little story, husband dear. Think of yourself having a choice, and tell me this: would you have me wear this form for you or for the world? Should Asgard's King be seen with his people's enemy as his queen and hold an asgardian in private? Or should he do the kingly deed and think of his honor or that of his Realm?"  
  
Thor was confused for a while, until something just clicked in his mind and he laughed.  
  
Sly snow fox, his Loki was. Sly indeed. But today is Loki's day, one needs not speak it for it to be known, and Loki shall never ask of it to be spoken out loud. So Thor indulges Loki, and he thinks: why should such beauty remain hidden underneath the blue? And why should winter leave before spring is due? As Loki's skin completely changes back to Jötunn and snowflakes stick to that tar-dark hair, Thor knows the answer to this little riddle, for it has always been right in front of him.  
  
In the laughter's absence remains but a smile - a smile which reflects his heart. Boldly, cups those cheeks in his hands, bringing a look of confusion down on his wife's face, and leans down to capture Loki's lips with his own. He hears a gasp and doesn't care who utters it.  
  
"I'd have you be Loki." Thor whispers against those lips, as he parted for just a moment, before claiming those thin lips again.   
  
This kiss, their first in fact, but not their last, grows deeper by the second. Thor begins to notice fingers tangle in his hair and a heart beat growing faster by his own. Before he knows it, Loki's kissing him back.  
  
The kiss is broken for need of air, and that was when Loki whispers back "Your answer is a wise one, my King."  
  
And his reward is in the form of those forest green eyes he loved so much, but oddly enough Thor hadn't noticed. He hadn't noticed many things.  
  
"I'd rather be just Thor."

 

Thor didn't know exactly when this happened; when the changes started. He hadn’t noticed when his actions became more calculated, more mature. He hadn’t noticed when he'd spend weeks on end at Loki's bedside as he recovered, or how he came to listen to his tales.  
  
He didn't notice when he took to watching Loki as he busied himself with tomes and tricks and mischief out of what more than curiosity, or when he had begun to keep him company as they explored Frigga's endless gardens. He did not notice when he took to following his wife around everywhere. He did not notice just when Loki started laughing that perfect laugh of his more and more, and when eventually every sound he seemed to hear was as pure as silver bells.   
  
He never noticed, until Odin named him King that the Thor who swore to protect and serve his people and treat them as his equals was no longer the spoiled, greedy boy Asgard knew him to be. The people hardly recognized him, himself least of all, but he knew he had changed. He never noticed when his little trickster of a wife had changed him, turned the boy into a man, thought him to see beyond the skin...  
  
He never noticed when the nightmares stopped.

-

  
"Thor..." Loki whispered in his ear that evening, after the feast, after their kiss.  When they both were safely hid by knowing eyes in their bedchamber. It was not a plea, but it could have been. With Loki, you can never know. But when that velvet voice spoke in his ear just so, Thor complied. 

 

He complied when he undressed Loki and caressed him. They didn’t rush anything out, he took his time to find out what pleased his beloved the most, where and how to touch. He took Loki until they found their climaxes.

  
Thor never noticed when the changes started, but he knew for certain that they were there.   
  
"Thor..." He hears his name again and he feels like he's being broken and rebuild anew, all at the same time. All he gives he receives in full, all he feels is mirrored by his lover's touch. All he smells is snow, and all he knows is completion. All he feels is Life. Only Loki could ever make him feel so, only his Loki, only his clever, clever little wife...  
  
Thor never noticed when he fell in love with Loki Laufeyson.   


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i couldn't write smut :((
> 
> there will be a short epilogue shortly


	7. Epilogue

Days can sometimes blend into one another till they fail to be told apart, but one day a King was asked a question. It was such a simple question. Such a simple, little question. But its answer was a mystery. The King has asked his wife, has asked his people - has asked all which could be asked for an answer to that question. The answers came one after another, but none where what he had searched for.  
  
That day, this King remembers most vividly.  
  
"What troubles you, my Love?" Frigga asks her husband one early evening. The smile his wife gives him as she steps by his side is as honest as it's beautiful. He remembers the last smile that inquiry has brought with it, and now, sitting here, he cannot help but smile.  
  
The question had been a simple one. It had been so very, very simple yet the answer had been nowhere in sight. For how could you ever know...  
  
 _What does a man wish for above all else._  
  
Most spoke of gold and riches, others of glory and love. But there was a man, a man whom he believed to be an enemy, whom gave him another answer - but for a price.  
  
 _"A King's head in exchange for a Prince's hand in marriage"_  
  
He had wondered many a sleepless nights if the price was worth it. Sometimes, he wonders still. But now, he sees two figures walk calmly through the gardens, sun and moon - day and night and he stops his wonder.   
  
"Nothing my dear wife." Odin answers, eye still on those figures. "Just remembering."  
  
One of the figures pauses in its walk, the other keeps it firm. But then the one that's moving turns a rather charming shade of blue. It cries and yells profanities at the other, whom seems to have no filter for its giggles. They chase around the garden like a pair of children, their laughter light and so sincere.   
  
Odin smiles.   
  
The Land has been quiet, and it is quiet still, but now it remains so for it is content. Its former King too finds himself content, and for the first time in what feels like a small eternity, time finally feels to be endless.   
  
 _For us all to be equals in the eyes of the other, no matter our color, our father or mother._


End file.
